thank you, Lord.

how. i hate making decisions like these. it's like testing my loyalties. but i really really really want to go.

will you all hate me?





and i really should be studying, now.

All the best, people. (:

today as i was walking to the market with my mum, i was greeted with a very pleasant sight.

maybe i should have seen it coming; yesterday was the last day of the seventh month. well im not sure if it constitutes being litter, but to me it does. piles and clumps of ashes, unburnt incense paper, those fagao and whatnot, all littered along the walkway, grass patches, ontop of drains. everywhere. it looked as if they just dropped there from the sky, or something. like almost evenly spread out. the first area i came across was the block right behind mine. but then we walked on, and the next precinct(?) had that too. it was even neater: a whole row of piles of ashes along the walkway outside the void deck. now i think about it it reminds me of when i played runescape and built fires in a row to cook chicken and make pies. i wanted to take a photo, but i didnt have my camera or my phone with me.

my mum was saying, the poor cleaner, having to clean up all this mess. usually they're malay, and what with tomorrow being hari raya, its not a very nice thing. they're really going to have a hard time cleaning all that up. those on the metal grilles of drains are the worst; if you sweep them they'll all fall IN to the drain. and now its raining heavily, i dont even want to imagine what's going to happen to all that ash.

its just sad. are we not supposed to clean up after our own mess?

kind of reminds me of what i read in a newspaper article, about sharing space in singapore. an mp said that what makes neighbours unhappy is ash entering their home – not who burns the incense. i agree with that. its annoying when big pieces of ash come entering my window (i dont know how they do; i live quite high up i didnt know ash could fly that high) and once i try to pick it up it disintegrates all over my notes.


anyway. maf later! im going to see ***** so happy!! :D

when i looked at my p1-p4 photos in p6, i laughed at myself, wondering how did i ever look like that.
when i looked at my p6 photo when i was in secondary school, i laughed some more.
when i looked at my sec 2 photo when i was in j1, i wondered how we could look so adorable, and change so much.
when i look at my photos from just under/over a year ago, i realise that im/we're changing faster than i can ever imagine. i dont recognise myself. i cant believe i was like that/we were like that. do we age more as we grow older? how do we change so much. its only been a year. yet everybody seems different.

i think all our experiences make us grow. be they good, or bad, they do, and i guess in a sense im grateful for it. sometimes harsh reality just needs to set in, so that we grow and learn and overcome and become a stronger person.


some memories i want to keep forever and never forget. some i want to forget so so much, but they come back to me in various ways.

does anyone have adobe premiere elements?

i think too much for my own good.

and i forget so many things that i want to remember. this is sad.

the past two days have been insane. okay not really, just really really draining. from 8am till about 5pm full almost-continuous academic osmosis or whateveryoucallit. and then rushing out tutorials and stuff at home like some mad person short of time. i foresee this continuing throughout the next few weeks. i feel that its good, to a certain extent, but it really doesnt leave me room to carry out my own revision properly.


SIX BOOKLETS OF PHYSICS, TAKE THAT. how the heck do you finish that, seriously? even though they're pretty.


okay i must go do gp aq and math tutorial and econs tutorial now, yay!

what's wrong with wearing long skirts?